in a jungle far, far away....there was a big old gorilla that mated with a female gorilla. Is that too much?? Then why do you keep reading? Like I was saying...there were two gorillas doing their thing and...how they made a chimpanzee I do not know! But I popped out! I led a pretty boring life..being that I was the only chimpanzee walking around with a bunch of gorillas, but then it happened. There was this group of things wandering in the brush. I did not know what they were, so I hid behind a lion. Why the lion did not eat me....I do not know. Then I saw them. They were a few naked gorillas. They didn't have any hair...except a little on top of their head. Oh...and the taller one had about as much hair on his back as I have on mine! Besides that...they were pretty naked. All of a sudden, the lion jumped up and tried to attack the things while they were not looking. That blew my cover. I was so mad that they could see me...but I realized that they did not notice me because a few of them were being mauled by a lion. I tried to hide behind the banana I was holding, but it was a tad small. That sucks because the people killed the lion and saw me squatting down behind a freakin' banana!! What was I thinking? So I picked up the banana and tried to fend them off, but the yellow goodness of the banana overcame me and I ate it instead! So..basically...I was screwed! They were not very happy being that 3 of them lost an arm. So the four that still had all of their body parts grabbed me and that is all I can remember....UNTIL!!! When I woke up...there was a very, very handsome boy looking at me! The surroundings were so different. I wasn't in Kansabia anymore!! I was in this building with four of the things. Come to find out...the things were really nice. They are what we all call...people.
I like people...especially my owner (blank). I won't tell you his name because I don't want "them" to hunt him down like you savages do to my other friends. He is great though.
I will say he goes to LSU and he urged me to do this project for him because he just does not have the time. Thanks for listening...or reading..whatever!
Me and my dad before he was killed by a giraffe. Hey...those things are mean....and he was a weiner. 
Me as a baby! and some body part
on my mom..hhmmm? |
